Oranges and Pens...

Why is Christmas a time where kids are awful? I admit, I am really antsy to get home and start celebrating. But seriously, we all know we are here until Friday, so why start acting all crazy? I was MEAN to the kids today, I will admit that too, but I was so frustrated with not only them but the school... this is a very interesting place, and if anyone knows of any jobs opening up in Oregon, please let me know! Even if it is in Fields! (Some of you know that I was going to interview for a job there, which is in southeast Oregon, 15 miles north of Nevada. The SCHOOL had 12 kids in it...)

At lunch today we were eating when all of a sudded our kid walked over and stole one of the freshly peeled mandarine oranges that Adam had all ready to eat. The kid reached around the side of the teacher and grabbed it while making a "Tik, tik, tik" sound, which totally cracks me up. We all laughed and teased the kid and kept on eating. Mere minutes later the kid came and grabbed the other orange that was sitting there! It was hilarious! Minutes later, again, this kid was caught cutting off the part of the pen lid that hangs down off of black ink pens and throwing the rest of the lid--- down the sink drain! There are like 20 ink pen lids in the pipes of L & C Elementary!

Guess that's all for now. Hopefully the roads are good so I can be home by Friday night! Saturday morning the plan is to head to Cascade Locks (3ish hours west, near Portland) to meet family from Salem, Portland, and California for dinner! The season sure is a busy one! Hope to see all of those from the Stanfield area as much as I can in the two weeks I am home!

One more thing, I think my shower pipes are leaking upstairs and making water go on to my kitchen counter and the top of my microwave downstairs. That can't be good... can it?

After last week...

After last week, which was pure Hades, this week has been amazing! A couple of things that have made me laugh:

1. Our "friend" who always has something to quote called me an "evil quack"... he also called our male teacher an "evil rubber ducky".

2. Today I said something during lunch and another teacher responded with, "What, do I look stupid?" The aforementioned friend responded with, "No, you look like a hot air balloon!"

3. Later on during lunch I said something and used the word "stupid". He responded with, "Easy, Spencer" and put his hand up in my face!

4. On Monday morning he showed up with a new toy. He brings toys to school to keep him company while the students are learning. Usually the toys are legos, which lately he has been plugging up the sink in the classroom with paper towels and filling it up to the brim with water to float his boats. Monday morning his teacher ran to my room and told me to come and see what was going on. I walked in and a peculiar voice said, "Give me... my... food!" All drawn out and wierd sounding. I looked around to see where the voice was coming from and it was him with a wierd green thing that changed his voice to the voice of an alien or something. Totally hilarious! I recorded the sound on my cell phone so I would never forget it... So funny!

Getting ready for Christmas...

I have decided not to decorate my apartment for Christmas. After the 21st I will not be around to enjoy it, so why bother? I will just hang out places where they have taken time to decorate! I, however, decided to get one strand of blue lights to put on the wall in a corner. Ghetto, I know, but a little festive. Here is my "Christmas corner"... pathetic...

Today it snowed! Like, a lot! I think it is stopping now, but I am watching Christmas Vacation with Chevy Chase to get in the winter/Christmas spirit. Funniest movie ever made! This has been a terrible week, so I have nothing funny to report in that area. Hopefully next week won't be as awful!

Freddy Krueger

Today I had a training for my school. Unexpectedly we got out about 2 hours early, to our complete delight! After going to Target and ShopKo we headed back to school to pick up tests to grade over the weekend. We went shopping because we didn't want to go back to school and teach, obviously! While we were on Homedale Rd near the stop sign by Vallivue HS we noticed something wierd in the Bronco in front of us. Erika, a co-worker, said, "That guy has a mask on!" I looked at one of the guys in the Bronco and said, "No he just has a mullet." Which was true, he had the most disgusting, repulsive, freak-of-nature mullet known to man! She said, "No, not that one, the driver." So I looked and he had kind of a funny thing hanging off the side of his face. I wasn't sure if it could be classified as a mask, though. As we were stopped right behind this vehicle, just minding our own business, both the mullet-man and the driver turned around at the exact same time. I mean EXACT! Their windows weren't tinted so we could see in their vehicle plain as day, and they could see us plain as day. Sure enough, I find myself almost face to face, or car to car, with FREDDY KRUEGER! The way they both turned around at the same time and stared at us, for like 30 seconds, totally freaked us out. I grabbed the side handle of my seat and made my chair lean back as far as it could go. IT WAS HILARIOUS! At the same time we wondered if they were going to pull into the parking lot at Vallivue HS and go and shoot the place up... nope, they continued on down the road toward the middle school.

Bucks Under the Trampoline

They showed this picture on the news this morning. A viewer sent it in from somewhere here in the Treasure Valley. It is probably the funniest, albeit the most dangerous, thing I've ever seen!

The Tutor Room

In our school we have 4 "tutor" rooms in each hall. These are very small rooms, about the size of an office. These are used when we have specialists or EA's that need to take kids out for extra help or testing. The rooms are a really cool idea, but of course, I never get to use them... I am stuck in the big room (not that I am complaining).

Yesterday our "student", you know the one, placed this sign on the door of the tutor room next to his classroom. He has three other boys who help him out, taking him to the restroom, help him clean up his stuff, and playing around with him. He decided that him and the boys needed a fort and have claimed this particular tutor room as just that. This sign was out in the hall all day yesterday and today until some 5th graders saw it and took it down.

Thanksgiving Morning

So Thanksgiving was delicious, of course, but the morning was very interesting! On Wednesday night my dad was hunting and he got a deer! I was so excited! I spent the morning cleaning large hunks of meat, slicing them really thin, and marinating the meat for jerky. It was my first time, and it wasn't too bad!

My dad brought the dog home a treat also. She was given the deer head to chew on, which I am NOT including on here. She was also given this part of the deer to gnaw, and you guessed it, it is the foot! Gross- but hilarious! Only in Eastern Oregon... But I love it!

Blackbeard the Pirate

So one day during lunch one of our students (the usual one) wrote this monologue on the white board. Apperantly it is from some movie that Blackbeard the Pirate is in. That day we also started using the "echo reading" technique for our reading curriculum, which is when the teacher reads a paragraph and the students re-read it outloud. This student stood up at the front of the room and started presenting his monologue. He stopped abruptly and told the other students that he was going to say part and they were going to say part. He restarted and pointed to the class when it was their turn. This student doesn't really do anything in class aside from drawing or playing with the toys he brings. He is a wonderful child with a severe learning disability. It was amazing that he had the entire class "echo reading" with him! He had just seen this technique done that morning, and wanted to be part of what the other kids were doing. Now, periodically, he entertains the class with his "shows" that he performs when he feels inclined. They are hilarious!

$500 check...

So right after school today one of the students across the hall asked his teacher how to cash a check. She told him that you take it to the bank and they cash it for you. He asked how to do it if someone elses name was on it. She looks at him and says that if you cash a check with someone elses name on it you will go to jail. Somehow, after that, the story leaked that someone in that class had found a $500 check in the hall and was taking it home. As it turns out, a boy in that class found the check and passed it to another boy, who passed it to a girl, who "lost" it! The teacher wouldn't let her go home until she found it and had the secretary, principal, and a few teachers looking with her all over the building! Where did she find it? IN HER BAG WHERE SHE PUT IT WHEN SHE WAS ACCUSED! It turned out that it was the paycheck of a mother in the school. She dropped it in the hall. That would have totally freaked me out!

In other news, The boy who originally found the check had just finished telling the class that his uncle lives on a chicken farm that has 300-400 chickens. He said, "My uncle pays the rent by having the chickens fight." The moral integrity of these students astounds me!

On a GREAT note, I am so excited to go home for Thanksgiving! What a fantastic holiday! Friends, family, and most important-- FOOD! Just joking...

What a day...

So this isn't so much a teaching story, although I do have some quotes to post. Tonight I came home (to my townhouse) to find that my garbage disposal has decided to stop functioning. As a result of that my sink was half full of disgusting, icky, water. I dumped a bunch of drain-o down the sink and went to Wal-Mart while it worked it's magic. It was only 1/2 way done working when I got home. I had decided to make tacos for dinner but I couldn't wash the big pan I needed because the sink was clogged, so I attempted to cook 1 lb. of ground beef in a 6 inch skillet... needless to say I had to do it in 2 batches. Finally the sink water drained out and I became happy again.

My downstairs toilet that has been running since I moved in decided to overflow for no reason tonight. Not cool... very not cool... and right after that I loaded the dishwasher and turned it on. This action resulted in THE SINK FILLING UP WITH WATER AGAIN! Now why would that happen? No comprende senior. So as I write this complaining blog, I wait for the dishwasher to finish so the water will drain out of the sink!

Here are a few quotes to keep you going... We have one student in particular who quotes movie lines a lot. It is totally hilarious and you have heard several of his lines before. The most recent ones are:

• He said to me after I gave him a mini-bag of Cheetos today- "Sweet beans in a basket!"
• He told the students when they were leaving- "Adios Muchachas" (in a really funny southern accent, which he pulled out of nowhere!)
• The last one becomes funny when I explain this. One day I tried to teach him Spanish. I told him to say "Hola, como esta". He looked at me and said, "No, that's a bunch of nonsense." (He isn't racist, he was quoting from a movie)

For now...

At Lunchtime Today...

I was eating lunch in one of the teacher's classrooms because she can't leave because a student refuses to eat in the cafeteria. This student is quite funny, but isn't firing on all cylinders. He makes my day bearable, though. Before he closed the classroom door he yelled out into the hall "adios muchachas". Then he colored the entire overhead projector with BLUE MARKER! The day never gets boring!

Today he said to his teacher, "Lay of the spicy food, you're getting gassy!"

He also has named all of us fourth grade teachers. His teacher's name is "wonder woman", my name is "bat woman", our male teacher is "bat man", and the last teacher is named "EVIL ONE!!!!!" How hilarious is that?

He opened his lunch box and grabbed a baggie of Saltines. He said, "Behold, it's the Saltines," as he held them up for me to see.

We brought him string cheese because he loves cheese. He took the cheese from his teacher and said, "Great scott, it is cheese!" Then he went to the overhead projector, turned it on, started drawing on it, and started dragging the cheese over it. Needless to say the cheese melted and when he tried to wash it off he realized that he had used PERMANENT MARKER!

Finally... it was Halloween and we were surveying the amount of sugary food that was brought into our midst by the kids. The teacher said, "Man, I hate blue frosting!" Our student couldn't see the blue as it was partially hidden by the green cupcakes. He said, "There's no blue frosting, ya bozo!" Then he walked over ot me, put his hands on my shoulders, lowered his head, and kicked me in the shin! He is dang lucky I have a great sense of humor!

Welcome to my life...

First Quarter in Pictures

Picture 1: A special needs student of ours made this fort when he was a little stressed out. Our principal had just finished chasing him around the room while the teacher was trying to teach. Note: He is inside his fort!

Picture 2: Here is the aforementioned fort after he decided to jump out of it! He left the mess for the teacher to clean up... little bugger!

Picture 3: The reading coach set our special student up on the internet to play a reading game. The next time we turned around he was shopping on Ebay for Halloween costumes! Here is the kick me sign that he put on my back when we made him get off!

Rule Interpretations by Fourth Graders

So our entire 4th grade is crazy. The kids don't care about rules or consequences, they don't behave in the hall or lining up after recess, and never quit talking. We had a meeting with the entire grade level, kids, teachers, everyone. We sat them down and talked to them about harassment, bullying, weapons at school, things that tied to gangs, appropriate attire, recess behavior, and homework. After the hour-long meeting the students were required to write down two things that they learned. Here are some of the things that they wrote, including spelling.

1. Why can we bring cd players Why can we bring sunflower seeds
2. whot I remember what Ms. Camble said is that the gang vilons and what to where and what not to where and the wepone's like somthing that could inger someone and could prabably kill someone and not to bring a shirt that does have a picture of somthing rong like beer and other thing that are not apropet in our shcool districked and if do bring something like that you could get sent to the office or even in house supechen or even expeld (that was all one sentence!)
3. No waring gagster sign lik beer shirts, eight ball shirts, small pants, folded pants, and last of all no bringing weapons like guns. (So you've heard it here, folks. No folded pants, no small pants! What are folded pants?)
4. no sell fones at school. no gane sines at school. no vivriate staff at school.
5. The clothing no sort scrts and spugety straps. (no short skirts and spaghetti straps)
6. she tell use to do homework and we go to the party. we dont bring guns on school. if you do you can tell teacher.
7. MY PERSONAL FAVORITE!!! No putdowns, no bulling, and no makeing fun of pepol yunger than a 4th grader, and no unapropeit objects. (apperantly you can make fun of people older than 4th grade!)
8. If you bring your ganster to school you will have to go home and change. (kids, don't bring your gangster to school or you will have to change!)
9. You can check out balls and jumpropes for recess, you must return them. (we didn't talk about this! He opened his agenda and copied this out of the handbook!)
10. Another thing I remembered was about clothing that are bigger than your arms. (what if you have big arms? Huh?)
So, welcome to the 4th grade! You can see with the spelling and grammar that I have a lot of ground to cover! Welcome to my world.

Week 5

So many hilarious things have happened lately.

Story 1: The kids were doing a blending board to read long words. They identified the skill for that line as "words with a silent 'e'". When asked if they could give more examples of words with a "silent e" one kid raised his hand and said, "CLEAVAGE!" I kid you not...

Story 2: We were reading part of Charlotte's Web in our reading book. One sentence said, "Wilbur felt queer". Of course someone had to ask, "What is queer?" We looked back in the book to see if the sentence could help us define the word, and no luck. One kid raised his and and was called on. He said, "Is that like queer-bashing?" I kid you not... 4th grade.

Story 3: My cousin and his friend were welding the freshman float together for their homecoming parade. Their float was called "Trojan Pride". He is a senior, but was in the shop class and was helping out. He attached his half fine, but his friend caught the paint on fire and burned the whole float down. They re-named it "smoke the pirates". That is my favorite part...

Story 4: The teacher across the hall had a parent that was pissed that his kid called his wife at work 15 minutes after school started to inform her that he was already misbehaving. He showed up after school and told the teacher that he didn't want any calls about his kid or school unless, and I quote, "He was involved in burning the school down... like I did." End quote. What a winner... and we wonder why his kid acts like that.
Today was payday. I like payday.
I think that is all for now. I will keep these coming as my class does more silly things. I have learned from them also. I am now fluent in Spanish, but only for swear words. I can also make a mean spit-wad. I am also proficient in lying about my agenda, homework, or reading log. Stay tuned!

Countdown: 17 days until payday...

Haha, I love that title! All of us new teachers, especially the ones that had to pack up and move, are counting down the days until payday. Isn't life as a real adult wonderful?
Well school is great, my class is interesting, and this profession makes me happy. I love weekends off, having so much power over little people, and the ability to create change whenever I want! It is very liberating! It is a lot of work, and I am still trying to get organized, but it is a fun type of work. I had my first sub day, actually sub days, this week. Hilarious! All new Elem. teachers had to do a 2 day training this week, on top of being gone on Monday for the Labor Day holiday. So we lost a day of reading group on Monday and then I had to have the sub teach my reading group on Thursday and Friday and give them their 1-2 unit test. Boy I am going to have a few pissed off parents when their kids show up with their tests next week. Tons of D's and F's... it is quite circumstantial, but the test is open book, so it will be a good lesson in life for the kids.
My class was wonderful for the sub. Only a minor fight out at recess, which wasn't the subs fault. For some reason the fighters weren't sent to the principal for their actions, so I get to meet with the kids DURING MY LUNCH on Monday and pass out detentions. I also get to meet with another kid, who is one of my 2 mono-lingual kids, to write him up for a note he passed. I confiscated my first note... unfortunately it was in Spanish and the only word I could read was a cuss word. I found that funny, and will enjoy writing a detention for that kid. I am going to need a translator so I can write it in Spanish so his parents can read it.
I like living in Idaho, even though it is a little backwards. One day during inservice, my new co-worker Erika and I were driving back to school after one of our many visits to the teacher sore. We were driving down hwy 55 when all of a sudden we passed an old white pick-up stopped like he was waiting for the light. Unfortunately he was about 10 car lengths back and there was no one else waiting in front of him. We saw him and he was all slumped over. We were like "is he dead, is he resting his eyes?" Then as we were driving past we saw a butt-load of cars backed up behind him. They were just waiting there like they were waiting for a light! No one was honking, no one was getting out to see what was wrong... nothing! They were just hanging out! We kept on going and couldn't contain our laughter... hopefully he wasn't dead.
For Now...

An Update on My Life

I just wanted to give everyone an update on my life. Well after a grilling summer of interviews (actually this was my first one) I was called by the school on my way home and offered the job. It is 4th grade, brand new school, and in a brand new neighborhood. I have to be there August 14th, so I will be MOVING during the hottest week of the year, fair week. Actually it is supposed to be 110 today, which is unreal, but now I am off subject.
So I am going to become an Idaho resident. I am headed to Caldwell, Idaho, to Lewis and Clark Elementary school. I am really excited, but will probably be nervous as the big move comes up. Until then, though, I will be cleaning and sorting... and working three jobs. I still work at the market, am working 2 days a week at Echo Hills, and am teaching summer school at Nixiyawii, if that is how you spell it. That is on the Cay-Uma-Wa Indian Reservation, about 40 mins away from here.

Day 4

Well it has been four days... long, but a good four days. I am getting used to the kids and really enjoy the class. My schedule with them is really easy because of P.E., Music, and Library. They are gone all the time, it seems!

I have a funny story. We had a cop come in today to talk about traffic safety. She asked the kids, “What is on the back of a stop sign?” They thought and thought, and a kid raised his hand and said, “Bullet holes!” I had to hide my face because I started laughing. She said, “Yes, sometimes. What else?” Another kid raised his hand and said, “Graffiti.” That almost killed me too. So pretty much we live in the ghetto.

Two Nights Before...

On Monday morning I will be starting to student teach. Man, that is so wierd to think about! It seems like it was just yesterday when I was sitting at my table, fall term, of my junior year, totally freaked out about the idea of getting up in front of people and trying to teach them something! Thankfully that is not the case anymore, otherwise I would be totally freaking out right now!

I get 2 weeks to hang out and observe, feel the class out, and then I take over! I only have to full-time teach for 4 weeks, so it will fly by! I can't even believe it is time for this, and I am pumped! I have to do 2 ten day work samples, which will be crazy since I have only done 2 five day. Also, they have to be kept under 50 pages, and my first 5 day was 47 pages!!!
Well wish me luck, think of me fondly, and those of you who have done this before (Hannah) give me some tips! Thanks to you all!

OH YEAH, AND I GOT STRAIGHT A'S... AGAIN!